Tuesday, October 16, 2007

My First Week of Having MS

I was just diagnosed with Multipls Sclerosis on October 10, 2007. This was a big shock to me since my Mother died of it 4 years ago. I had my first treatment yesterday and today of IV steroids (Solu-medrol). Both sessions were about 2 hours long.

I am suppose to start the Avenex in the next week. Yea a weekly shot can't wait for that and the side effects of it. The side effects are usually flu-like symptoms the day after the injection. I get to be sick more! I am really so mad I have this disease it has changed my life dramatically. Everything I was planning to do in my life has changed. I wanted to have children, but I am not going to do that. Yes they say you can have children with this disease but I absolutely hated it when my mother got sick and I was 18 years old. I can't imagine having a child and from the day they were born they will know they have a sick mother. I don't want to put a child through that. Also you can't be on any of the medicine when you are pregnant and since the lesions are in my spinal cord not having treatment for 10 months is not a good idea. I just went with out treatment for 10 months and I already have weakness in my left side and have lost some dexterity in my fingers.

I HATE THIS DISEASE!!!

I just can't understand how God could do this to me and my family, they went through so much with my Mother and now they get to watch me go through it also. Yes I am light years ahead since I have been diagnosed 20 years before my Mother but it still doesn't change the fact that they haven't found a cure for this disease. Well I think I have written enough for today.

2 comments:

Heath A. Wilkinson said...

Something to listen to.

Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People

Why do bad things happen to good people? That is one of the difficult questions in all of theology. God is eternal, infinite, omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent, etc. Why should we human beings (not eternal, infinite, omniscient, omnipresent, or omnipotent) expect to be able to fully understand God's ways? The book of Job deals with this issue. God had allowed Satan to do everything he wanted to Job except kill him. What was Job's reaction?

Job 13:15 Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.

Job 1:21 And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.

Job didn't understand why God had allowed the things He did, but he knew that God was good and therefore continued to trust in Him. Ultimately, that should be our reaction as well. God is good, just, loving, and merciful. Often things happen to us that we simply cannot understand. However, instead of doubting God's goodness, our reaction should be to trust Him.

Pro 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Perhaps a better question is, "Why do good things happen to bad people?" God is holy (Isaiah 6:3; Revelation 4:8). Human beings are sinful (Romans 3:23; 6:23). Do you want to know how God views humanity?

Rom 3:10-18 As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God. They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one. Their throat [is] an open sepulchre; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps [is] under their lips: Whose mouth [is] full of cursing and bitterness: Their feet [are] swift to shed blood: Destruction and misery [are] in their ways: And the way of peace have they not known: There is no fear of God before their eyes.

Every human being on this planet deserves to be thrown into hell at this very moment. Every second we spend alive is only by the grace of God. Even the most terrible misery we could experience on this planet is merciful compared to what we deserve, eternal hell in the lake of fire.

Rom 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Despite the evil, wicked, sinful nature of the people of this world, God still loved us. He loved us enough to die to take the penalty for our sins (Romans 6:23). All we have to do is believe in Jesus Christ (John 3:16; Romans 10:9) in order to be forgiven and promised a home in heaven (Romans 8:1). What we deserve = hell. What we are given = eternal life in heaven if we would just believe. It has been said, this world is the only hell believers will ever experience, and this world is the only heaven unbelievers will ever experience.

The next time we ask the question, "Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people?", maybe we should be asking, "Why does God allow good things to happen to bad people?"

Although we cannot know God's intentions in the bigger scheme of things, by allowing bad things to happen to us. We can be sure that God, in some cases, does allow bad things to happen to us in order for us to lean on Him more. The truth is, it is easy to forget about God when things are going great. When all the bills are paid, we have plenty of food on the table, everyone in our family is well, and we have a good secure income; it is just too easy to trust our circumstances to take care of us (Duet. 32:15). But when any one of those things that we previously had an abundance of is taken away, it causes us to call on the Lord for help. The words of Agur express this truth:

Pro 30:8 Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me:

Pro 30:9 Lest I be full, and deny [thee], and say, Who [is] the LORD? or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God [in vain].

Agur didn't want to be rich, because in his wisdom he knew that if he were rich, he would most likely deny God. Likewise the Apostle Paul, who had suffered tremendously at the hands of those he was preaching to, was shipwrecked, suffered poverty, hunger and need said this:

Phi 4:11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, [therewith] to be content.

Phi 4:12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

Phi 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

The Apostle Paul was basically saying, "It really doesn't matter if I have everything I think I need". He was able to have this kind of attitude because he realized first; that God would meet all of his needs according to what God considered necessary for the Apostle Paul to have. Secondly, the Apostle Paul realized that even if he were to suffer need in the flesh, that need would only serve to cause him to lean all the more on Jesus Christ.

2Co 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

2Co 12:10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

Cindy said...

Hey Jen,

I am really sorry to hear that you're sick, remember it's a mental game as well as physical. Eventhough this will take over your life for a while because its new and a shock there will be a balancing point where you begin to adjust. That is where you take your life back, find the things you love to do and do them. I hope I was helpful without being annoying and preachy. I'll keep track of your progress through the blog.

Good luck and take care,
Cindy B.