Tuesday, December 18, 2007

2007 Year in Review

My husband did a year in review so I am going to do the same. The year started off like most Having a grand old time on New Year's day. Heath and I had gone to a party at a friend's and both of us probably had too much too drink but overall a pretty good New Year's. Well pretty much from that day everything got worse. Let me start with the the major event of 2007 my head injury. Long story short, I was walking around my SUV and I slipped on some ice and fell directly on my chin with my arms back. I ended up with a brain bleed, brain contusion, and a severe concussion. Well my health just got worse from there. I was having headaches dizzy spells, and vertigo all the time. I had an MRI in March which I later found out had lesions on it but my moronic neurologist didn't even look at the films himself, he just went by what the radiologist said. 10 months of going to a neurologist that kept saying" its migraines" even though it turned out to be MS.
In September I had enough of my neurologist and I went to my general doctor and told him I wanted a new referral to a neurologist and I wanted an new MRI which my neurologist would not give me even though I had asked several times. My general doctor had me scheduled for an MRI 2 days later and was already trying to find me a new doctor. The lesson that everyone should take from this is: If your doctor is not helping you and won't do what you ask get a new doctor. I wish I would have sooner. After the second MRI which had changed significantly I was told it was supicious of MS. I had to have a LP to confirm the diagnosis. My diagnosis was confirmed on October 10, 2007 I have MS. I am now on Avonex and trying to deal with my bad days.
All I can really say is this year pretty much sucked. I know that I am not being very positive but being diagnosed with a disease like MS is not fun. Yeah there were good things that happened during the year but overall I am going to say this wasn't a good year. I am hoping next year will be better. The year ends in 8 so already its better than ending in a 7. Seven is not a lucky number for me. Well that's all I am going to say for now about 2007.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

A lot of Good days, One Bad Day and Reflecting on life

Today was a very good day. Heath and I helped out 2 kids who don't have very much. At the bank there was an angel tree with children's names that needed things like clothes and shoes. What we got them was the only thing they would get for Christmas. We had a 7 year old girl and a 4 year old boy. We bought them clothes and toys. It felt so good to give gifts to children that had very little. It was so fun to pick little outfits out for the girl and the boy. We also got them some toys. Since I can't have children it was so fun to shop for a child.

Tonight was my company Christmas party. We went to Little America Restaurant in Salt Lake City. They had really good food. The President of my company came out, we all got gift cards to Walmart and then we each got to draw an envelope. I got another gift card to Home Depot. All and all a really good night.

I have been doing pretty well trying to have a better attitude. I am trying to stay as positive as possible. The week went really well up until Thursday. I have been feeling pretty good overall. Thursday came along and I had vertigo and felt nauseated all day long. Work and school were very difficult. I couldn't keep my eyes open in class because the room was spinning so bad. I actually ended up falling asleep because of the vertigo. I came back to work and just tried to make it through the rest of the day. I left at 4pm. When I got home I just went to sleep. I felt much better on Friday.

I had a lot of good days this week and only one bad one. In staying with my positive attitude, I am really lucky I only had one bad day this week. One bad day in 7 is not bad. Hopefully I won't have any bad days next week, but if I do I need to always look at the positive I only had one bad day not 7. I am going to try and write all the positive things that happen to me on a daily or weekly basis, because it will keep things in perspective for me. I am a very lucky person, I know there are people out there who have more bad days then good who have this disease. I am very lucky because my good days out number my bad days. Hopefully they always will, but if the tide turns I will still look at what was good about my bad days because having a positive attitude is the only way to approach this disease. Before I was diagnosed I had a very negative attitude about a lot of things, so one good thing about having this disease is I am learning to have a better attitude about everything.

Having MS has changed a lot of things in my life, I have to have a shot every week, I usually spend Sunday's sleeping most of the day, I have days where my head hurts all day long, but I am not going to let that keep me from doing the things I want to do in my life. Yes things in my life are different then they were a year ago but that's ok. I have a good life even with this disease. I have a wonderful, supportive husband, a great job, and friends and family who love and care about me. I definitely didn't want this disease, but I have it and I can't change that, so I am going to make the best of it by staying positive and living life to the fullest.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Trying To Have a Better Attitude

This week I realized I was having a really bad attitude about everything. Heath and I went to Oregon and it didn't go the way I hoped. We got back and I went to my Doctor's appointment and he didn't really give me good news. He basically told me these are my good days with the headaches and all the other fun symptoms I am having. The lesions I have now have created a lot of damage and its permanent. This as good as I am going to feel. Well hearing that really didn't put me in a positive state of mind. So I wasn't having a positive attitude, which I need to have with this disease.

The Doctor also gave me another prescription to try. I haven't filled it yet because I am sick of dealing with side effects. I am going to fill it this weekend. He told me to take it a Friday or Saturday night so I don't have to go to work dealing with the side effects.

My goal this week is to stay positive and not look at the negative of everything like I did last week. The week is starting out well; I have to have my ingrown toenail removed, but I can find a positive in that it won't hurt anymore. Also because of the appointment I got to leave work at 3pm. They couldn't do it today because the instruments weren't sterilized so I got home at 4:20. It was nice to get home early. I was also able to get $38 out of my apartment complex because they overcharged us. There is several positive things about this week. Also my company Christmas party is on Saturday night which means a bonus and a free meal. Another positive thing to look forward to. That's it for now, off to soak my toe again....

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Avonex Makes My Leg Hurt and Gabapentin makes me really Dizzy!

This new medicine gabapentin is not working and only makes me tired and dizzy. So I am going to talk to the doctor tomorrow so I can get a different medicine. I was so dizzy this morning I probably shouldn't have been driving. I felt so dizzy I was running into things at work and practically falling asleep standing up. I don't think I will take the medicine tonight. The other thing that sucked this week was my leg hurt really bad from my Avonex shot. My leg didn't start hurting until Tuesday, (I had my shot on Saturday) I tried to ice it but that didn't help. My Avonex nurse said it sounded to her like I was not high enough on my leg. The shot had been given in the side of my thigh. So I guess Heath will have to go higher next time. Anyway my leg hurt for 2 days and now its fine. The first day it hurt it was really painful. Every step I took hurt. The second day wasn't so bad.
This weekend should be really fun. Heath and I are going to a ice skating event at the Energy Solutions arena (its where the Utah Jazz play) and we get the IMFT suite. Heath won the tickets at work. I can't wait it will be so much fun.
Next Tuesday we leave for Oregon. Its going to lots of fun too, I get to see all my family and spend Thanksgiving with them. We are suppose to have dinner at my Grandma's, I am really looking forward to it.
Only one more day of work this week. I am really happy about that too 2 days off then work 2 and then 5 days off. A nice little vacation. Well nothing else to report.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

A Couple Good Days a Couple Bad

I know its been a while since I wrote but I been kind of busy. Where should I start? 2 weeks ago I was feeling better than I had felt in months. I had 4 days of feeling like I felt before I got MS. My head didn't hurt, no joint pain, nothing. I was really happy. It was so nice to not feel sick for a while. I didn't fall asleep in class at all that week, I was able to study for my test. I had a test in my inorganic chemistry class on that Thursday, I felt rested and felt really good about the test. I even finished 20 minutes early. I have never finished a test that early.

Well Friday rolls around and I started to feel weird about 8am I can usually tell when I am going to get a headache. I went to class and began to feel worse. I began to feel like I was going to throw up and my head began to pound. I went back to work and told my boss I had a horrible headache and I wanted to go home. I cleaned up the lab and left. I had to go get my prescription for my Avonex. I went to the doctor's office and of course it wasn't ready. As I am waiting for it the fire alarm goes off. Having a horrible headache and having to listen to a annoying fire alarm is not fun. It was at least 10 minutes before the alarm was turned off. Finally I get my prescription. I left a message with my doctor to call me so we could discuss these headaches. Sally the physicians assistant called me back. I told her about the headaches and recommended a drug I could take gabapentin. I called Heath and asked him to pick it up. I went home and fell asleep. I felt better after my nap. Heath go home I took the medicine and went to sleep again.

Saturday was a fun day. I went to school to work on a homework assignment with my friend and classmate Jenseena. We tried to work on the assignment but mostly we talked about other things. We gave up on the homework assignment about 12:30 (we had been working on it since 10:30) and went to lunch. I got home about 4. I had a headache the whole time but I am use to having headaches so I just ignore it. Heath gave me my shot of Avonex about 7, it hurt more this time but it was because I was tensing my muscle. Sunday was uneventful. This last week was not very good because the medicine I was put on made me really dizzy and tired. I fell asleep in class almost everyday and I was practically falling asleep at work. I am staying on the medicine for another week to see if the side effects go away. I hope so, but so far it is not getting rid of my constant headaches.

I really hope the Avonex begins working on these headaches. I am so tired of waking up with a headache, or getting a headache later in the day or what ever. Or having a headache all of the time. My head has felt strange since my head injury. (For those of you reading this who don't know I fell in January and and hit my head so hard I ended up with a brain bleed, brain contusion and a severe concussion. I stayed in ICU over night.) This feeling has been there since the head injury. Sometimes its a constant dull pain other times its a excruciating pain. It just depends on the day. Well I have written enough for now.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

My first dose of Avonex

Last week we went to the MS conference. I was really inspiring to hear how someone else was dealing with MS. It definitely made me feel better about having the disease. The woman who spoke was on the drug Tysabari which is a once a month IV.
It was great getting to see LeAndra. We had a lot of fun. On Saturday we went shopping a LeAndra got her haircut. We all went to Sushi that night, it was really fun. Sunday I wasn't feeling very well I had a really bad headache so LeAndra and I were watching TV while Heath made Lasagna. I love it when Heath cooks, all his food tastes so good. Later we rented 2 movies. LeAndra left on Monday but I will see her in November when Heath and I go back to Oregon to see my family.
The week went pretty good, I was really tired on Tuesday but overall the rest of the week wasn't to bad. I spent most of the week trying to get my medicine to me before Saturday. I spent a lot of time on the phone with various people from MedCo and Avonex. For some reason they didn't have all the paperwork in order until Thursday, it was extremely frustrating. I got everything worked out so the medicine would be delivered on Friday. Well for some reason the FedEx driver could not read the package correctly. (He was suppose to drop the package off at the leasing office if I wasn't home.) It even said on the package leave at leasing office. So I got home around 5:30pm and the package wasn't there and neither was any proof that FedEx had been there. I called Avonex and they told me FedEx would try delivering it on Monday. Well that wasn't going to work, so Heath and I went to the FedEx office to pick the package up. Needless to say the driver didn't even get back until the office was closed. The office closed at 7:00pm and the driver didn't show up until 7:30pm; we had to wait around for over an hour. I didn't have the best attitude and I got irritated at the guy at the counter and yelled at him. I apologized later but I still shouldn't have done that since it wasn't his fault.
After getting the medicine Heath and I went to dinner at Applebee's which ended up being free because we ended up waiting over and hour for our food. After that we went to the movie Saw 4. It was gory but the storyline was topnotch once again. It ended where you know there will be another one. I love those movies, they may be gory but the storyline is so twisted that you never know what's going on until the end. Very good movie.
Saturday I went to the library to study for my midterm on Thursday with a friend. We studied for awhile and then went to lunch at this great cafe. When I got home I watched the Avonex DVD. Then waited for the nurse to show up to show Heath and I how to give me the shot of Avonex. She got there about 8:15pm. She was really funny and helpful. She told me I needed to give myself the shot so she knew I could do it on my own. I procrastinated for awhile by talking about my head injury and my first idiot neurologist. Finally I just did it I gave myself the shot!Now for people who don't know me I am not afraid of needles but I do not like them. Every time I've had my blood drawn if I look at the needle or the blood I will feel faint. I am fine with other people's blood just not my own. It wasn't as bad as I thought. After you get past the needle going through the top part of the skin it didn't even really hurt. I am not sure I could do it every week, but now I know I could do it if Heath has to go out of town. Well the nurse left about 10pm. I ate dinner and fell asleep on the couch around 11pm.
Woke up today with some muscle aches and a headache but I feel pretty good. The side effects aren't too bad, its definitely worth it if I am going to start feeling better. Well I think that's enough for now.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Another day in the life of MS

I got up today and went to work. I was feeling OK at first, but then I felt completely drained. It's been such a long week. I finished what I was doing and told my boss I would probably not come back after I went to class. Oh yeah I am in inorganic chemistry at the University of Utah. I am really trying to finish the class because I am over half way through. I went to class but I was so tired during it I was beginning to fall asleep. After class I went home. I pretty much slept the rest of the afternoon. I feel much better now. I am going to go to work tomorrow for half the day, I need to keep my life as normal as I can. My best friend from Oregon will be here tomorrow I can't wait to see her. She is always so positive so I know she will make me feel better.
We are going to go to an MS conference that my doctor is speaking at. Its about new developments in MS. I think it will be a good conference. Heath made reservations at the hotel its at so we are going to stay there for the night. I think it will be really nice. Well I am getting tired again so I am going to go for now.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

My First Week of Having MS

I was just diagnosed with Multipls Sclerosis on October 10, 2007. This was a big shock to me since my Mother died of it 4 years ago. I had my first treatment yesterday and today of IV steroids (Solu-medrol). Both sessions were about 2 hours long.

I am suppose to start the Avenex in the next week. Yea a weekly shot can't wait for that and the side effects of it. The side effects are usually flu-like symptoms the day after the injection. I get to be sick more! I am really so mad I have this disease it has changed my life dramatically. Everything I was planning to do in my life has changed. I wanted to have children, but I am not going to do that. Yes they say you can have children with this disease but I absolutely hated it when my mother got sick and I was 18 years old. I can't imagine having a child and from the day they were born they will know they have a sick mother. I don't want to put a child through that. Also you can't be on any of the medicine when you are pregnant and since the lesions are in my spinal cord not having treatment for 10 months is not a good idea. I just went with out treatment for 10 months and I already have weakness in my left side and have lost some dexterity in my fingers.


I just can't understand how God could do this to me and my family, they went through so much with my Mother and now they get to watch me go through it also. Yes I am light years ahead since I have been diagnosed 20 years before my Mother but it still doesn't change the fact that they haven't found a cure for this disease. Well I think I have written enough for today.